your parents love me but you hate me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
