hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize