After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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