it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
