I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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