Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
