You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
