o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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