somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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