I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize