Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
