Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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