How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
