I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
