I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
