So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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