you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize