I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
