So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
