When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
