some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
