Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
