Christians are straight up FREAKS
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
