PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize