There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
