dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
