I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she peed on how many people?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
