So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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