Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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