I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
ttyl tear gas
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
