i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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