It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Randomize
