sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
