um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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