dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
