it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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