yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
