maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
we should paint friendship bongs
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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