He asked to "fluff my boner.."
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
