Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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