I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
tell me about the eggs
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
