dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
