i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
