Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just want nice things and good sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
