Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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