i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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