I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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