I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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