As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
