im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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