I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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