we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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