i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So squirting runs in the family.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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