So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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